The themes the Lord gave me this semester really clung to me. He showed me from the very beginning to seek Him diligently this semester. He time and time again gave me the story of Mary and Martha. It's good to be busy about the Father's business, but what about just seeking Him? That's what He put on my heart a ton this semester. It was as if I was super content just sitting on my bed, sitting by the lake, and seeking Him. I didn't need anyone or anything else. And that's the other point He brought to my attention..I'm completely SATISFIED in Him. 100%, truly, totally, satisfied in my God. Seriously, what else could be better? I've grown to understand that in life, every single day we have a choice. We can CHOOSE as believers, to walk in truth and abundant life that Christ came to die for, or we can choose to believe the lies of Satan, and give into the temptations and spiritual attacks that come our way. I had to learn in hard ways that I was the one moving often times. I was the one choosing to walk in lies and unfaithfulness. I was restless, anxious, nervous...but leaning on the everlasting arms of Christ. I didn't choose to walk in abundance. A sweet lady that spoke on Sunday night at our women's chapel said it so clearly. She said, "When you're in those times, think about it. Who moved? God didn't...He's unchangeable." It's so true. We choose to pick the path we walk on. From then on I decided to pick the path of abundance. I know the truth, I know what Christ has spoken, and all that He's ordained for me. There's no greater thing than that. I love John 10:10 where it says "The thief does not come to except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy; I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." Abundant life. God has shown me over the capacity I thought I was worth, what abundant life means in my own personal life. I am so thankful for what He's done for me, how He's worked in and through me, and all that He's shown me lately. It's incredible.
There were a few struggles this semester, yet the Lord was faithful to teach me obedience, patience, surrender, and satisfaction in them all. He broke up a friendship I was involved in, only to show me that He had so much more. He took me through open doors of leadership and ministry, He allowed me to go through many health issues which required a lot of hospital visits, and a lot of pain. But honestly, all the things He's tested me in, the places He's shown me I need to surrender and work on, He's only brought me out to rich fulfillment. He's given my anxious fluttering mind peace. As He continues to remind me of Psalm 139 where it says that He knows our sitting down and our rising up, He understands our thoughts afar off. How can we even doubt His goodness? Truly God is good.
As the semester wraps up, He continues to pour His abundant love upon my life. He continues to show me there's no satisfaction without His abundant satisfaction. There's no life or pleasant walk unless I walk hand in hand with Him. He's shown me I must remain faithful in the small things, so then He can raise me up to places of bigger leadership opportunities. His abundant love for me is so crazy. I can't fathom it.
One important thing I've learned as well: run the race with endurance. I yearn to be a woman so sold out, so devoted, so passionately in love with my Jesus, so unhindered, just as it talks of the Apostle Paul in Acts 20. How nothing that went on around his ministry hindered his ministry. He was completely devoted to Jesus. His life was revolved around spreading the Gospel message. In my own life, I yearn to be a woman so completely devoted, just like in John where Mary pours the alabaster flask of oil upon Jesus' feet. It's so costly, it's worth everything, yet it's worth devoting unto Him. My life. It isn't mine, it's His.
One day I was running and the Lord kept giving me that verse. Run with endurance the race set before you. It's so prominent in my life. May nothing hinder my race for the calling and ministry He's placed before me, whatever that is. I love how my heart hasn't grown dimmer, but has only grown stronger for what He's called me to. I remember journaling when He called me into ministry about 3 years ago. I said I didn't just want to be in church Sundays and Wednesdays, but I wanted to live, sleep, eat, and breathe the ministry. I wanted my life, soul, and body to be poured out a living breathing sacrifice unto God for His work and His service. I wasn't called to a "normal" occupation. Yet I was called to be set apart, to be wholly devoted to Him and to the ministry. As I jouranled again today, it's only grown stronger. I yearn for that servant heart, the heart of a maidservant. I yearn to be a woman set apart and holy unto the Lord.
My prayer for this generation of women, and the girls on this campus, is that they come to recognize their worth in Christ, and that they were called to a higher calling than women in the world. A life set apart, poured out, and wholly devoted to Jesus is the most precious and fulfilling life there is. It may cost you your money, your beauty, your clothing, your boyfriends, your family, your friends, your popularity, your success, your education.....your everything but truly, it's completely worth it.
I am abundantly blessed. My God is so good.
"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing." ~ Psalm 34:8-10
"They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light." ~ Psalm 36:8-9
