we ought to obey God rather than men.

I know something I have been super convicted of lately is the courage, boldness, and strength to stand up for the truth of the Gospel. This doesn't just go for women, but all brothers and sisters in Christ. I must admit, throughout my life so far I have never been too concerned about speaking out about the Lord. My friends knew my lifestyle. They knew that my dad pastored a church and that all my life I grew up in a Christian home. I just assumed that my family and our label was enough for them to understand, and to know. Yet, as I grow in the Lord I begin to realize that it isn't enough. Someone once said that sharing your testimony is a great way to spread the truth, but it's not the Gospel! We need to be sure we are giving a true depiction of the Gospel to those who are lost. Telling your friends that you grow up in church, and that your dad is a pastor isn't enough for them. Back in high school I was in a really long relationship. This person knew my lifestyle, he knew my dad was a pastor and that I was a "believer" yet we were young, and I was super immature. Praise God that He used my father to bring him to Christ. Oh, and ladies, I was really not walking with the Lord, so dating a nonbeliever was something that was sin! We are to NOT be unequally yoked with nonbelievers! The Bible is quite clear in this! NOR are we women, supposed to be the spiritual role models! Going on, once we broke up my lifestyle completely changed. I swayed towards the standards of the world and comformed rather than transformed. My outlook on life and my "walk with the Lord" or, lack thereof, was proof enough that I wasn't living the lifestyle I professed. Do you see the example he saw through me?

This is the point I'm making: sharing your testimony, or telling your friends you go to church isn't enough. That doesn't tell them that they were born into sin, it doesn't tell them that they are destined for hell, it doesn't tell them they are in desperate need of a Savior, it doesn't show them that they can have eternal life by surrendering their own, and it surely doesn't depict the truth of the Bible. We need to be BOLD for Jesus, you guys. I am so lame when it comes to this. I'll be the first to say that when I have an opportunity to share the Gospel with others, I run for the hills.

There was a situation this past Fall that still sticks with me and breaks my heart. I decided to go to Subway for lunch so I got in my car. I drove there and I noticed this girl walking there from the high school. It was a funny feeling I got when I saw her, immediately all I could think of was, "I wonder why she's all by herself.." I didn't think a whole lot of it I just began to get sad for her. I went inside and ordered my food and she trailed in. It was clear as day, the Lord was distinctly telling me, "Go, sit with her. Eat with her and share the Gospel with her." I argued with the Lord back and forth in those short seven minutes I was checking out. I knew what I was called to to but the thought of going up to a random stranger terrified the crud out of me. I kept saying, "Lord, I don't have a lot of time and she'll think I'm weird. I'm sorry..but I can't today." And so I left.

I got in my car and after two minutes of realizing what I had just done, I began to cry, and my heart broke. I knew that girl needed the hope of the Gospel and all I could do was pray for her, even if I didn't know her name. Guys, that moment woke me up. I began to see that the days were short, and more than ever this generation is spiraling downward so fast. They are searching for something, anything to give them fulfillment. It made me realize I was sick and tired of watching the world pass by without a true understanding of the Gospel.

Ever since then the Lord has put an intense burden on my heart for this generation. We are so lost, so depraved, looking for things that do not fully satisfy our souls. What we need is Jesus Christ. We are called, chosen to go out and share the good news of the Gospel to our friends. If they reject it, so what? If they end up hating us, who cares? I'm in the book of Acts right now and I'm reading all about Paul's ministry. Yesterday I came across chapter 4 where it talks about praying for boldness. Oh, how I must pray this every single day. It says in verses 29-31, "'Now, Lord, look on their threats, and grant to Your servants that with all bodlness they may speak Your word, by stretching out Your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of Your holy Servant Jesus.' And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness."

I have been on my face, literally, day after day so broken and hurting for this generation. I believe more than ever that we are in perilous times, guys. And what are we doing with our hours? Wasting them away, when we should really be out and about sharing the good news of the Gospel. I'm praying the Lord would begin to give me a heart for evan6elism because this lost and dying generation continues to head in the wrong direction. In Proverbs 30:11-15 it says, "There is a generation that curses its father, and does not bless its mother. There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, yet is not washed from its filthiness. There is a generation--oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up. Ther eis a generation whose teeth are like swords, and whose fangs are like knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men. The leech has two daughters--Give and Give! There are three things that are never satisfied, four never say 'enough!': the grave, the barren womb, the earth that is not satisfied with water--and the fire never says, 'Enough!'"

Our generation is broken and continues to be hopeless, needy, and desolate. Guys, if we are in Christ, our calling is to be a witness! Just telling people you go to church isn't enough! You need to be giving them the clear and true interpretation of the Gospel! But first, we need to make sure WE have the clear, true interpretation of the Gospel. We need to be careful what we fix our ears upon, many men will profess to be Christians and walking in truth, but so many of these new authors, evangelists, and speakers are not living a true life in Christ! We need to be careful with who we listen to, and what we read. I won't name names, but please, prayerfully consider what you want to read next instead of just assuming they'll be telling you things in righteouesness and truth. Most of Christianity today ISN'T Christianity. It's what America wants to hear, we call it "American Christianity." It's a watered down version of the Gospel.

It's been altered, changed, more 'hearer friendly.' I've been told before that I'm too narrow minded. That my approach to sharing the Gospel isn't right. If any of you know me super well you'll know that I would be devastated if I came across arrogant, rude, or judgmental. Narrow minded, fine..I can take that. I understand there is a GOOD way to profess the Gospel and there is the wrong way. We need to share with our brothers and sisters in love. We are called to love those around us, regardless of how they are. Yet, they need to understand what they're destined for unless they surrender to Jesus. It says in Matthew 7:13-14, "Enter by the narrow gate; for wise is the gate and broad is the way that leds to destruction and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life and there are few who find it."

You can call me narrow minded, because according to verse 13 that's what I'm supposed to be. God made all the laws, He made all the commands, and it's because of His sovereignty that He enforces them. I follow them because it is what I am called to do. If that makes you think I'm narrow minded then you don't understand the true meaning of the Gospel.

Guys, I love this generation. My heart breaks for those in my life who don't know Him. Yet, I understand that the Lord knows those are His. My prayer is that we will not be ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My prayer is that we can be BOLD for Him every day. If you are hated or persecuted for the name of Christ, blessed are you! This life is not our home. We have an eternal purpose, and our hope comes from above. Remember that the Lord God made you and created you for His purpose. It was no coincidence that you were created. You weren't formed because of fame, or popularity, or success. You were created for Him! You were created to profess His name. God created you...can't you fully live for Him? He is worthy. He deserves it.

I pray that I can be continually broken for this generation. I have so much to learn. I am in no way 'good' or 'perfect'. I fail every second of the day, but I know God's grace is sufficient for me. I can only ask and pray that my sin would daily be revealed to me so that I could be broken before Him. Healing begins in the brokenness. Brokenness is essential for a true understanding of repentance. Fall on your face today before GOD. He is worthy.

The days are short. The Lord's return is nearer than when we first believed. We need to stand up and be bold for the name of Jesus Christ. There should be no shame of speaking His name. He is worthy of all honor, praise, glory, and exaltation. Praying we can ALL be more bold to speak out on His behalf. I would rather have someone hate me and hear about the name of Jesus Christ than live their life however they want, see Him on judgment day, and realize that no one ever shared the Gospel with them. We need to have our eyes fixed on the eternal, and stop focusing on what people think of us. This, again, goes back to self focus. Satan's tactic for keeping the Gospel out of the world works every day. Do not let him win. Pray for boldness, courage, and strength. The Lord will give you some you never knew you had before.

"But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: 'We ought to obey God rather than men. The God of our fathers raised up Jesus whom you murdered by hanging on a tree. Him God has exalted to His right hand to be Prince and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins. And we are His witnesses to these things, and so also is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey Him.'. . . . . . .So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ."~Acts 5:29-32, 41-42

Looking Unto Jesus~Hebrews 12:2

I want to say that I believe the number one issue women struggle as Christians (and nonbelievers) is self worth. Well, rightly so we should struggle and why? Because self gets in the way of godliness. It gets in the way of submiting under the authority of Jesus Christ. It gets in the way of fruitfulness, abundance, and satisfaction in Jesus Christ. Women struggle with who they were created to be. It strictly says in Psalm 139:5-6, "You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it." Our precious God created us in His image, He created every single individual unique thing about us, and here we are, hating ourselves. What does that say to the Lord?

Coming from a woman like me, I spent most of my life beginning at age 12 being somebody "better". Hmmm better? Is it possible to ever reach an end goal when we try to be "better"? No, and why? Because once we reach one thing, we want to be better than that. And better than the last. And even better than the last. It goes on and on and we are never fully satisfied. So, here I was as young as 12, always told that I could be someone 'better' and these words stuck with me. I looked at other girls and compared myself constantly. I saw a hair color on someone else and I wanted it. I saw a body type and I desired to be that thin. I saw someone who had blue eyes and I asked for blue contacts. I mean, the list goes on ladies.

There is a vicious cycle that Satan tries to tempt us with. I am continually learning that the cycle won't be broken unless I seek the LORD first in every single day. Satan tries to make us think that we are not pretty enough or thin enough so what do we do? We eat better and exercise. Yet, it's beginning to become unhealthy. We obsess over who we are. We can't stop counting calories, eating less and less, and exercising to the ponit of passing out. Then after some-odd months we reach our goal. We feel on top of the world and pride begins to strike us. Once pride hits, then comes the fall (Proverbs 16:8). We crash to the ground, wanting something MORE than what we've already accomplished so we move onto the next thing and start from square one.

Ladies, there is never full satisfaction when you look unto yourself. God did not create us this way! He specifically programmed us to desire His face! He is the ultimate satisfaction! I struggled with this vicious cycle for over a year. I was so broken that depression, loss of sleep, anxiety, and fear overtook me. Satan had me just where he wanted me, but my God was ever so faithful to never leave my side. I remember one night I was praying a prayer like this: "Lord, I pray that I could just be better. I just pray to look better, to feel better, to be thinner." Do you know what verse He gave me that night? James 4:2-3, "You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask, and do not receive because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures."

Ladies, the only reason I wanted to be 'more beautiful' on the outside was to gain attraction from people. God wasn't even in my reasoning as to why I wanted to look better. I listened to a message a woman gave to women at a Resolved conference a few years ago. She had us ask ourselves some questions and one was, "Do you eat healthy and work out to look better for you? Or do you do it so that you are ready for the Lord's work?" I know what my answer was. We are always trying to strive to be better. Yet, when we strive to LOOK better, we always end up failing because our hope isn't in looks, the mirror, or the newest fashion.. it's in Jesus Christ.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to other women, ladies. 2 Corinthians 10:12 says, "For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond measure, but within the limits of the sphere which God appointed us--a sphere which especially includes you."

Look unto JESUS, the Author and Finisher of our faith. He is the only source of satisfaction we will find, ladies. Let me tell you, when I was only focused on my looks, everything around me crumbled. My walk began to fall to the wayside. My heart began to get ugly and bitter. My pride sprang up. My motives were all off. The world seemed to be desirable. This is what Satan wants! He wants us to say 'goodbye' to the lifestyle of holiness and purity we are called to, and to say hello to the world's standards. When I struggled incessantly with my looks, I just know that everyone around me knew where I was spiritually.... dead.

Ladies, I spent more time thinking food was my enemy, than nourishing the body God gave me. I spent more time looking in the mirror trying to alter myself than being blessed in the Lord for creating me in His image. When we focus all our attention on self we will never be satisfied.

I want to encourage you to STEP OUT of that sin. It is SIN when we focus on ourselves, and it is sin when we begin to feed into Satan's lies. God is greater, and He is looking at your heart rather than your appearance. Our hearts needs to be daily surrendered, broken, and sanctified. We need to pray that our hearts would radiate the beauty...not our looks. I still struggle with this, and I'm 22. I know that this struggle will be with me the rest of my life. It's just the battle we have to face as women in the Lord. Girls, take it as a BLESSING when you fall into this trial..because the devil knows that you're on God's team, so he's going to try everything he can to win you over. Do not be deceived! It says in 2 Corinthians 11:14 that even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. It looks beautiful on the outside, but it is dangerous, deceptive, and it will destroy you.

I must admit, the past two weeks have been major spiritual attacks. I have been honored, and blessed to be asked to speak at an all girls Purity Conference this Summer in my home town. My best friend Katie and I are teaming up to share the abundance of a life with Christ to these ladies. We got together to pray the other day about the conference, and about all the Lord wanted to speak through us, and then all of a sudden the attack came on heavy. I began to go back to that dark, dreadful, dangerous place of feeling not good enough, not thin enough, and not beautiful enough. I began to comare myself and say no to food that I should have eaten, exercise a bunch and only have the self perspective in mind rather than the eternal perspective. It caused me to be afraid to turn to Jesus, so isntead I turned to other things to keep me busy, television, work, school, and stress came heavy upon me. One morning this week before work I just laid on my bed and cried out to God. I just remember the darkness I fell into in my past and was so terrified of going back there. For two weeks I felt like I was slipping back into that black hole of despair and hopelessness. Then, the Lord spoke to me so clearly. I was so comforted. He said, "Ang, you are going to struggle with this your entire life. DO NOT lose focus of the eternal, of who I am. This will be a battle, but through Me you can overcome it, and you will be victorious. Stop looking at yourself and get your eyes fixed upon Me, and the purpsoe I have called you to. Through these trials, I will use you and bring you to joy."

It was like a break of relief. I knew that the Lord had preserved and saved me from that dark place a year ago. Even though I feared coming back to it, His love and faithfulness prevailed and always will. Ladies, if Satan doesn't try to trip you up in one area you struggle with, he will try to trip you up in another area you struggle with. But we do not have to be fearful! We do not need to believe his lies, or lose hope, or get discouraged. God knows your frame, He remembers you are dust. It says in Psalm 33:15, "He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works."

I want to encourage you with something I read in my devotional that morning after I had a sweet time with the LORD. I read Spurgeon every morning, and it was so neat how the LORD worked it all out. Spurgeon went on to say,

"It is ever the Holy Spirit's work  to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, 'Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of His children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus.' All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: He tells us that we are nothing, but that 'Christ is all in all.'" Hebrews 12:2

Ladies, get your eyes OFF of yourself and fix them on Jesus! Stop obsessing about what you look like, and start yearning for who Jesus is! Spend more time on your knees than in front of the mirror! We are called to a higher lifestyle than the world has to offer. Full and perminant satisfaction comes from Jesus Christ, and Jesus ALONE! No other person can fulfill that, no other posession can suffice, no other materialistic thing can make you fully happy. Jesus is the One who satisfies forever. Look unto His face.

I just love this old hymn:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

"They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light."~Psalm 36:8-9

If it pleases the King...

Considering I was unable to get back into my old blog, I have created a new one. The purpose of this blog is mostly for women. When I gave my heart to the LORD, He began to show me right away that I was different, set apart, called to be holy. He gave me 1 Peter 2:9-10 which says, "You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light; who once were not a people bt are not the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy."

It hit me so hard, I could barely breathe. My entire life I had been living in sin. As a woman in the world I was prone to unhealthy relationships with men, dependency on men, self-fulfillment with looks, perfection, friends, posessions, materialism... the list goes on and on. When I became a believer, it was as if NOTHING of that mattered anymore. I began to see what a Godly woman looked like in the Bible. I struggled and fell down still, and I still do. But as women in the LORD we are called to a higher calling than most, ladies. We are called to pursue holiness, righteousness, and purity. We are called to be set apart, different than the world. We were called to something greater than what this life has to offer.

I entitled this blog, Pleasing the King out of the book of Esther. Esther is my favorite woman in the Bible. Her godliness just radiates throughout the entire story. Every time I read about her, I can't help but to feel convicted. I also fall on my face and pray that the LORD would continue to make me into the virtuous woman that He's called me to be. In the entire book of Esther you see more than seven times the phrase: "If it pleases the king..." Esther was so concerned with pleasing her king, rather than conforming to the world, or looking like everyone else. She even goes on to say, "If I perish while doing so...I perish!" Ladies, how many of us can truly say that? Our looks, our relationships, our hearts desires, our friendships...are they pleasing in God's sight? Are you willing to let them all go JUST to please your King? I know nothing in this world is worth keeping to lose Christ. I'd rather lose a lifetime of temporary fulfillment and gain an eternal satisfaction and joy.

Esther chapter 5:2, 8 is one of my favorites, it says, "So it was, when the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court, that she found favor in his sight, and the king held out to Esther the golden scepter that was in his hand. Then Esther went near and touched the top of the sceptor. . . .'If I have found favor in the sight of the king, and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfill my request.'"

All she wanted to do was please the king. Do you see in verse 2 how it talks about the king noticing Esther without her knowing? I imagine her getting herself ready for the day, dressed in beautiful apparel and the king noticing her without her knowing. He took one look at her and found favor. I can't help but to think that a mix between her beauty and her heart were what drew him..but mostly her heart. Ladies, we need to be praying that our HEARTS cause the King of Kings and Lord of Lords to find favor in us. We need to spend more time transforming our hearts into more of His image than transforming our bodies into a smaller size. This is not our calling. We need to put away the materialism and selfish desires of what we want. I just love Esther because her heart radiated all the beauty she beheld. In verse 8 she had no desire to want anything unless it was what the king wanted.

So many times we desire things on this earth, which aren't necessarily bad things, but we want them without thinking about the fact that our Heavenly Father knows best. We need to be willing to sacrifice all we are, all we desire, all we hope for and give it unto the Lord's hand. Our prayer should be that HIS desires become ours, not that our desires become true. Not if I will, but if You will should be our mentality ladies.

So, in my own life...I have purposed it in my heart to please the King, in everything I do. In no way, shape, or form am I perfect. I fail every single day. Probably every single hour. Yet, I know that I am a work in progress and that the LORD has pressed a heavy burden on my heart for a lifestyle of holiness. Let me tell you, it is a beautiful, thrilling adventure. Purity, holiness, and righteousness may not sound fun to you, but living in them, and seeking the King above all else is the most rewarding, joyful, beautiful experience of all time.

This blog is designed to encourage you ladies, minister to you ladies, and to share some of my life and my heart with you ladies. We are all struggling together. We are all falling into the lies that this world wants to feed us, that we need to look better, we need to dress better, we need to alter our personalities, we need to change the way we walk, talk, act... I mean, satan wants to destroy, and damage all that you are. As women in the LORD we need to put on the whole armour of God. Just because we are called to live holy lifestyles doesn't mean that it will be easy. I have found ministry to be one of the hardest things I have ever known...but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My prayer is that as Godly women, we would sacrifice our selfish desires and pursue a lifestyle of holiness. Stop caring so much about what you put on your body. Stop wasting your hours in front of the mirror. We need to be exercising into godliness, not beauty. This life we have it just one, girls. It is short, and our calling is far more rewarding than the vicious cycle satan tries to sell us about who we are. The enemy wants to kill and destroy, but Jesus has come to give you life, and to give it more abundantly! (John 10:10)

Let everything of this life go..live sold out, passionate, on fire, yearning for the glory of the LORD. He is enough, ladies. Seek His face, and all the satisfaction you need will become evident to you.

"I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish!"~Esther 4:16