abundant life.

The Lord is so faithful to have brought me my mentor in the midst of walking in darkness. I remember when I just started college, I was probably at my lowest point. I was in a horrible, abusive relationship, seeking material and fleshly desires/lusts, yet I knew that in my heart I was completely empty. I was struggling with so many worldly things, and at that time I felt like I had gone too far. I felt as if there was no hope for me. I think that's one huge thing satan uses in the lives of people who backslide or struggle with sin... It's too late for you. God will never accept you anymore. Such a bold face lie. I knew back then that I was in 'so deep' and that there was no way I could come back to Christ. Yet, deep inside my heart I desperately wanted to. There was always the lie of, What will your friends think of you? What will the world think of you? They'll think you're a Jesus freak...you don't want that. Truly, that's another awful lie that he tries to get us with. Isn't it super crazy how the world can so easily darken our perspective? That's why we need to be so sure to dive into the Word, and get to know Jesus. That way we can refute the lies with scripture and truth.

The Lord is so faithful. I love how He continually pursued me even when I was in the world, and I knew it. Every time I fell into sin I was convicted. I felt guilty, unclean, not right. I knew that I had grieved the Lord, yet I felt so stuck. Entering my freshman year of college the Lord brought my mentor, Katie into my life. Her and her husband moved to our church without knowing anyone. Yet when I met her I knew there was something definitely different about her. She was such a godly woman, and I immediately looked up to her. With only knowing her for a few short weeks, the Lord put it on her heart to start disciplining  me, and my close girl friend. At the time I thought, 'Ok, that would be cool.' Even though I was mixed about it.I was in sin, so sometimes it was fun, did I want to know the truth and feel convicted? Of course not. I didn't want to know the truth. Yet, I knew I needed a change in my life. I knew that I needed SOMETHING more than what I was doing already.

Katie was the biggest blessing at the time. Little did I know the Lord would use her at the perfect time, to bring me back to the Lord, surrender my life completely over to Him, getting called into full time ministry, and then growing in my heart for the Lord and for women's ministry. Katie and I had similar, if not weirdly exact testimonies. The struggles she faced growing up, in high school and college, I too faced and was facing at the time I met her. She was able, through the Lord, to minister to me, pray for me, and be there as an encouragement. To this day we are best friends. I've seen her grow in her marriage, have now 2, beautiful wonderful baby boys whom I love...and it's been a huge blessing for her to know me before Christ, and now walking in Christ.

All throughout our times in Bible studies and discussions, the theme of her life had been "the abundant life". She spoke at a few purity conferences, and always talked about the life she has in Christ, in abundance because of the cross. I guess I never truly pondered that. The abundant life. But now, as I finished my second semester of Bible College, being halfway done, the Lord hit home, hard...to show me what living the abundant life truly is. Yet the Lord showed me this semester true abundance. I have never before understood fully what the abundant life was all about. I am so blessed and thankful that the Lord shows me different things in different seasons in my life. Here's one thing that really hit home to me this semester: Contentment brings abundant life.

All my life I had struggled so much with being discontent. Whether that was with where I was living, in being single, in not understanding the plan the Lord had for me...whatever it was, I knew that I was never fully content in Christ and in Christ alone. This semester the Lord showed me what contentment truly was. I had been praying that my reason for existence, my entire satisfaction would be based on being alone, studying His word, and speaking with Him. For those of you who may not know me real well, I'm super out going and I love being around people. Growing up in high school and college if I didn't have plans on a Saturday night, I needed to make some. God-forbid I was actually relaxing. I never knew the definition of the term 'relax'. Yet, when I came to Bible College, the Lord had to break me of that. It was no longer how many friends I could have, what social groups I could be apart of, the popularity level...but it was all and ONLY about Him. This semester I kept praying the Lord would make me satisfied with Him, just Him, only Him, and studying Him, getting to know Him. I remember walking into Bible College this semester and the Lord pressed it hard upon my heart to remind me that I needed to be diligent in seeking Him this semester. Not seeking anything else out...just seeking Him. He kept putting the story of Mary and Martha onto my heart. How Mary sought that better thing that wouldn't depart from her...even though Martha loved the Lord, she was still too busy all the time. I learned through that story time in and time out that rest, diligence, and simply seeking the Lord is truly abundant.

This rang so true in my life this semester. I have never been so thrilled, joyful, content, and satisfied in the Word of God. I found that the Lord continued to show me the true meaning of abundant life. I found myself this semester desiring to spend more time in the Word than with others socializing, or going out. The Lord had to do a lot of work in my heart this semester, but it was so good. I can now fully say I've found the key to abundant life. He totally opened my eyes...I am exceedingly blessed.

I was convicted a few weeks back. As I was reading the scriptures, I came to a point in my devos where I was unsure of what I was to read next. I didn't know which book to start with, or where to go...so I just prayed. I realized that a lot of my devo time was all about me. Lord, what do You want me to read so I can relate to the scriptures? Which things can I read that will speak to me? Not that hearing from the Lord is wrong, or that reading the scriptures to be spoken to is wrong, BUT, what is the motive? The Lord quickly revealed my heart. I came to realize that, why does it always have to be about me me me? Simply study the scriptures, learn about the Lord, and grow in His grace and knowledge. So, where did I start? Genesis 1. And honestly...I've been growing SO MUCH, learning so much about the Lord, and having my eyes opened to things I didn't even realize before. God is so good. Our personal time with the Lord doesn't always have to be about us us us. What about just simply studying the scriptures to get to know Him? Or praying for others? I know I've been convicted of this. The Lord so sweetly breaks me in these areas constantly.

As I was going through scripture, I came across a few verses about abundant life. In the dictionary the word 'abundant' literally means: more than adequate; present in great quantity; oversufficient; richly supplied.

I love looking up definitions so we can see the truth even more in scripture. One of my favorite chapters in the New Testament is Isaiah 55. It says in Isaiah 55:2 says, "Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in abundance." I love that. One huge thing the Lord showed me with the key to abundant life is that feeding on the scriptures, eating and basking on those things that are good, on His word that is true...that brings abundant life. When you're diligently seeking the Lord, and desiring to walk righteously in Him...He won't steer you wrong. You will be abundant if you are continually seeking after the Lord in all things. The other verse the Lord gave me in this season was Psalm 36:8-9, "They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house , and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures, For with You is the fountain of life, in Your light we see light." My God is so incredible...I have found that even seeking Him alone, in the stillness, and on my bed, I am abundantly satisfied. I can't help but to think of this verse. The fullness of His house.... I am abundantly satisfied. Truly, there is nothing else that can fulfill my joy.

This semester has been an incredible one. As I looked at the one main thing the Lord taught me this semester (and is still teaching me) is that the key to abundant life is simply: contentment in the Lord. Girls often times find fulfillment in ALL the wrong things. We seek money, clothing, men, personality, intelligence, and so much more...but even in my time growing in the Lord, I've truly found that nothing else can satisfy. The only real reason we have abundant life is because of the cross of Christ. It is because of the sacrifice He paid for us, the Word He gave us, the blessing of having daily communion and fellowship with Him. That is abundant life. Walking in Him, seeking Him, and resting in Him. I have found godliness with contentment to truly be GREAT gain in my life. The abundance of satisfaction I find in Jesus Christ just can't ever be replaced. I yearn for Him in the morning, seek Him in the day, and have to be with Him before bed. My life depends on our relationship. My heart relies on His love.

May my eyes be fixed, my heart be steadfast, my feet be established, my hands be diligent, and my life entirely glorify Him in all I say and do. The key to abundant life? Contentment in Christ. He alone is the satisfaction and abundance. Purely beautiful.

"Indeed I have all and abound, I am full. . ." ~ Philippians 4:18

"Now godliness with contentment is GREAT gain!" ~ 1 Timothy 6:6