I saw the difference in them, and truly, I wanted that beauty. It was a trait that I seriously needed so much work on...and I know even today I still need work on it! Yet, God began to show me throughout the years that it wasn't earthly things I needed to be chasing after, or friendships, or possessions, or anything other than simply seeking God. He kept showing me that my heart wanted to be swept away by Him, and in Him, but I was either holding onto worthless things, or simply not surrendering everything I had unto Him. When you see women of godliness around you, they have that precious beauty. They have that 'something' that other women in Christ desire...that sold out, unhindered, wholly surrendered, completely devoted, wonderfully captivated heart for Jesus. That's what I want. Not just once a week, twice a month, or at some random points in between...no. I want that every, single moment of the day. This is the third attribute I want to just talk about a little bit, and it's:
A Captivated Heart
The term captivated came into my mind just the other night. I have been so super blessed to see how God continues to work in my heart those little details that I know He needs to prune, strengthen and continue to grow. I always have work that needs to be done in me, and quite frankly, my heart isn't always captivated. But the hunger, the yearning, the desire, the passion I have in my heart to know His word, to seek Him out, to simply grow in Him and love Him whole heartedly...I don't want that dying out in a few weeks. I want it to last for a lifetime. Captivated was the word I could think of. 'God, make me captivated daily in Your love.' Truly... it rung so true in my heart.
Captivated (v): To influence and dominate by some special charm, with an irresistible appeal
I look at that and I can't help but to think of the love of Jesus. Truly, His love is so captivating to me. I think back upon all He's done for me. I knew that even walking in my sin before fully surrendering, He was pursuing me so beautifully. I was convicted every time I fell, and I knew in my mind and heart what the right thing to do was...I was simply being disobedient. God was, and is so so so patient with me. His love never fails me...I am amazed by that. It says in Lamentations 3:22-23, "Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."
His faithfulness continues to grow in my life, even in those times when I'm being disobedient. Now, a woman whose heart is captivated by God is one who willingly surrenders everything in order to obey Christ. She is able to look at her circumstances, regardless of what they are, and walk in obedience, in humility, in uprightness, and most of all in joy. I have been convicted lately at not giving thanks and praise to God enough for all He's done. In our prayers it seems so easy to ask for things, spill our guts on what we struggle with, tell Him the things we need (as if He doesn't already know...) yet when do we simply just stop... sit... hush... listen... and THANK HIM for all His goodness? I love the story of Mary and Martha in the gospel of Luke. It says in Luke 10:39, "Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word." She just sat there. She heard Him, listened to Him, and sought Him out. While Martha on the other hand, was too busy doing a million things at once. Women have busy schedules throughout the day. Whether it's work, classes, cleaning, cooking, whatever the case is...we're busy. Yet there's a fine line between working and doing what God has called us to do, and simply sitting at His feet and resting in Him as we seek Him.
I was convicted of this lately. Being home over winter break is definitely different. I can't truly say there's a whole lot for me here at home, but I knew that in this season of my life, the Lord called me home for a short time. Yet the Lord began to show me that my time here at home, was for me to simply serve my family. Help them out. Go above and beyond what I used to do, and love them, serve them, clean for them, cook for them, ect. So I would wake up in the mornings, have my devotional time, and clean house. Yet some days I thought to myself, 'Well, I want to clean the house, but I have to do my devos first.' 'Well, maybe I'll just spend all day cleaning.' I was torn. I didn't know how to balance my time, and the Lord quickly reminded me of Mary and Martha. He calls me to do both: to take care of duties, and to seek Him. Splitting the time up wisely is something I need to learn, and I continue to learn it. And it wasn't like I was spending my free time watching hours and hours of television, or shopping, or doing anything else...I was doing what the Lord called me to do. Study and work, study and work.
Now, I do lose track of time and get caught up in the random things...but they're not important. It isn't wrong to take time to go shop, or to watch some TV, or do whatever...but where are the priorities? I'm learning that a woman whose heart is captivated by God and for God is a woman who learns to balance her time. And what is she doing with that time she has? Are they things that edify, build up and continue to grow her in the Lord? Or, are they things that don't necessarily do any of that stuff? Sure, shopping isn't wrong and it can't damage our relationship with the Lord (unless it's an idol), but how do you want to be truly spending your time?
I love what it says in Proverbs 31:15-16, "She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard."
Man, I love that! Not only does she rise while everyone is still asleep to get the day started for her family, but she helps others. And I love verse 16. The virtuous woman CONSIDERS BEFORE SHE DOES SOMETHING. Ha! I have to laugh at my own stupidity with that one, because seriously 90% of the time I do NOT consider before I do anything! The Lord is working on me with that, but she considers something before she even buys it! This can go along with other things too. Like, considering your words before you speak them, considering your thoughts before you act on them, considering your decisions before you make them, considering what you want before you run after it and cause problems..... us woman have a problem NOT considering things before we act on them. It's huge. Proverbs 18:15 says, "The heart of the prudent considers knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." The heart of the prudent...the disciplined one. Ladies, we must DISCIPLINE ourselves when it comes to certain matters! Thinking things, acting on things, impulse buying, spilling our guts, allowing our emotions to be worn on our sleeves....these things are awful once the world sees them. Proverbs 18:2 says, "A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart." I love that, too. We must consider the things we are doing BEFORE we do them! The virtuous woman considered, THEN she bought. And what did she do with the things she gained? She worked MORE with them! She didn't get money and then go spend it on her own selfish pleasures. No, she used it for the better of her household. Spending is a huge issue in homes. It's good to learn NOW how to be wise with money, careful with income, and how to balance it all wisely.
The woman whose heart is captivated by the things of God is one who is willing to be wise and cautious when she does things. Our aim as women of God should not be (like I've said a trillion times) the things we can gain, the attention we can get, or the possessions we can attain...but our desire should be to know His word, to know Him through prayer, and to walk obediently with Him. Those things have all been said before..but truly, they're the things we have to grasp.
Psalm 119:97 says, "Oh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day." Is God's word the one thing you go to every hour of the day for advice? Do you run to God to find wisdom? Or do you go to family and friends? Do you fall on your face in prayer when you're in anxiety or do you rush to talk to someone else? Who is your first option? I know mine isn't always God. I can easily call my girlfriends, or talk to my mom, or try and even seek the 'wisdom' of the world instead. Why? I have the One who can give me an abundance of things I need, and a plethora of answers that I'm looking for. But honestly, half the time I don't receive the answers is because I don't go to Him for them. When our hearts are not so concerned with seeking counsel from above, why would God freely give us the things we are looking for? Why would He show us if we don't come to Him and diligently seek Him? I firmly believe one thing women lack to seek after is wisdom. Wisdom from God is one of the most precious attributes we can seek after. Women whose hearts are captivated by God YEARN for His wisdom. They can't get through the day without it!
I'm going through the book "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George...and she made an excellent point. One that's pretty common sense, but when I read it I was like, wow. She said that she learned throughout her years in ministry to never ever make a decision without praying about it first. That means, should she lead that homegroup study? She prayed first. Should she drop her house cleaning time to spend an afternoon with her friends? She prayed first. Should she allow her son to go play at his friends house for a little while after school? She prayed first. Should she travel across country to speak at a women's retreat? She prayed first. Some of these decisions big, others not so big..but regardless of the SIZE of the circumstance, prayer was her forefront. God was the One she sought after for answers. Make NO decision without prayer first. It seems sensible, but it's something we always forget. I'm quick sometimes to say yes to something, whether it's a Bible study or coffee with a friend, before even praying or considering it. Then I look at those past situations, and 90% of the time I backed out and went back on my word, because I didn't pray first. Both awfully wrong. As a woman of God, our 'yes' needs to be 'yes' and our 'no' needs to be 'no'. No wishy washy business.
I loved my first semester at Bible College...sometimes. I knew I needed to grow so much (and still do..) but I would see certain girls around campus who had this peace, this tranquility, this love, fervor, passion, and contentment that I just lacked. I was always anxious, always needing something. I learned quick that my heart wasn't captivated by the things of God. My heart was taken by the things going on around me. Whether it was my grandma's cancer, or my dad's surgery, or my sudden illness, or the person who didn't treat me well, or whatever it was...my heart was drawn and taken by circumstances. I found myself completely uneasy, anxious, restless, and uncomfortable. I couldn't find myself to be at rest in Christ, even when I tried, because my heart wasn't fully captivated in Him. My heart sought after other things.
What is your heart seeking after? Trust me, no high paying job will offer you eternal fulfillment. No relationship with a guy will give you the filling in your heart you're desiring. No party or socializing will fulfill what you're looking for. When our hearts are completely surrendered, wholly devoted, ultimately captivated by the things of God...it is THEN can we experience the abundant life.
Esther was a woman of incredible strength. Even in the midst of her crazy circumstances she was content with where she was at. She trusted in her God, and she knew that she was brought to the palace for such a time as this. Her exact words were, "If I perish, I perish!" (Esther 4:16) She had that beauty about her, that strength and confidence...but not in herself. She had it in the Lord. Ladies, where does your confidence lie? Your strength? Your hope? If you find yourself waking up with low self esteem, self-conscience thoughts, thoughts that you'll already have a bad day....ask yourself where your heart lies. What is holding your heart at that moment? Clearly, it isn't Jesus. It says in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." If you're feeling that way, chances are your heart isn't on the altar yet. You're obviously carrying baggage you shouldn't be, or resting your hope in something that isn't of the Lord. Either way...get it right before God. He already knows, but you need to be willing to surrender it and say that it's His, not your own.
I was reading Matthew tonight and I love what it says in Matthew 6:19-21, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your TREASURE is, there your HEART will be also."
So wonderful. Where's your treasure? Where's your heart? You can't have them in two separate places. God desires ALL of you, ladies. Not just the bits and pieces...but all of you. I've seriously found, that by thriving on His word, in communion with Him, and simply serving those around me in love, I am completely captivated by Him. He blows me away. His love continues to make me fall on my face in complete adoration, pure devotion, unhindered heart, surrendered life.... I mean, what else IS there? What else could POSSIBLY bring that much abundant joy?
I'm going through the gospel of John, and I just love love love chapter 15 of John. In John 15:9-17 it says, "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you jeep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in You, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. These things I command you, that you love one another."
There it is. Love. It is love that will allow us to serve, pray, and be diligent in seeking Christ...but not our own love. The love of Christ. We must pray that God would send His Spirit upon us to show us how to love those around us, to love His word, to love prayer, and to love serving others. It isn't easy..but it's part of the basis of our ministries. And let me tell you, wherever you are, whatever you're doing...IT IS A MINISTRY. Whether that's sitting in a cubicle all day, cooking and cleaning, Bible studies, going to rough parts of town witnessing...whatever it is, IT IS YOUR MINISTRY. God has called you there for a specific purpose, to fulfill His purposes, and wherever He places you...be there wholeheartedly. That's what He's called you to, so don't wish you were somewhere else. It's so easy to say, 'Lord, once you hand me into the ministry full time in the church I'll definitely be sold out serving you.' What about NOW? Where are you NOW? It's not easy to learn! I've had seasons where I did absolutely nothing and had to just sit, wait, and fold laundry...but that's what He gave me. Be faithful NOW. It starts...NOW.
I pray that your hearts would continually be captivated by the beauty of the Lord. Man...He is so beautiful. Have you just sat down, opened the Word, and gleaned from Him? Some of you may be thinking, with your schedules it's impossible...but if you're thinking that, again, reconsider your priorities. Your relationship with Jesus is THE MOST IMPORTANT relationship you will ever have. It begins everything else. It starts it all. It is the driving force to all that you do. It controls everything you think, feel, act upon, desire, and say. It is so important. We seem to forget that. Write down DAILY what time you're meeting with the Lord, and keep it. Don't break it. Your life depends on it.
May our hearts continually grow for His love, His wisdom, and His word. May we yearn to praise Him in our prayers, in our actions, in our thoughts...in the deepest parts of our hearts. May we CHASE after His heart....and I mean chase after it! Look at what you're chasing after. If it's a thought, a desire, a hope...stop it. Chase after God's heart, chase after His law, His truth, His righteousness, His hope. It says in Matthew 5:6, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be FILLED."
Be filled with the deep things of God. Yearn to know Him. Desire to seek after Him. Love Him unconditionally...because unless you do, all other things in your life won't be stationed right. Once you get right with God, He will get your life in right order.
Praying our hearts would continually be captivated by His beauty, enraptured by His love, enthralled by His holiness, and drowning in His presence. Because truly....there's nothing better.
"Honor and majesty are before Him;
Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary." Psalm 96:6
"Your testimonies also are my delight
and my counselors." Psalm 119:24
"I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord
is my rock and fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation,
my stronghold." Psalm 18:1-3
"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the
word of our GOD stands forever." Isaiah 40:8
"But Daniel purposed in his heart
that he would not defile himself
with the portion of
the king's delicacies." Daniel 1:8
"Turn to Me with all your heart. . ." Joel 2:12
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