That verse has been used so many times in my life throughout the past few years. The Lord has shown me through brokenness that life isn't about beauty, popularity, or being the one noticed...but through quietness, gentleness, sweetness, and a humble heart. The second attribute of a virtuous and godly woman I want to study and take note of would have to be:
Quietness:
(n)-in a secretive manner; in secret; tranquil
It may seem kind of strange to think about...quietness. And I know for me, this one is constantly hard to learn. I am quite outgoing, in fact, back in high school I got in trouble a lot for talking too much...ok it actually started in kindergarten. No joke! Yet, the Lord has shown me over the past few years and months, that like I've said, popularity is nothing. And there is much fruit that can go along with godly women knowing the goodness of being quiet.When I read the definition of quiet I thought it was interesting. It can literally mean to be secretive. Not in a cunning, deceitful or sneaky way. But I think as women we have a few issues with being quiet and quiet in spirit, as it says in 1 Peter 3:4.
Women in our world today are notorious for telling us to follow our hearts, speak our minds, and 'go for it' when it comes to guys or promotions in the work world. All those things, to me, are against biblical standards of a virtuous woman. First of all, we've talked about following our hearts before. It is wrong, unbiblical and dangerous. It is quite clear in the book of Jeremiah that our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked, and that NO ONE can understand it. It's so true. I've had many situations in my life where when I followed my heart, I brought more heartache upon myself. Yet when I surrendered those things unto the Lord, regardless of what my heart felt, I yielded peace, and comfort because God was the One who led my heart...not myself. But seriously...when we 'follow our hearts' we only end up in destruction. Through prayer and consideration in the Spirit can we be sure that the Lord will lead us and guide us.
Speak our minds? This one is a pretty big one, especially in a world where feminists are on the prowl constantly. They look at the Bible and think of it as sexist, because women are told to submit under their husbands, submit under the authority, and to be gentle and quiet in spirit. Now, do I think it's biblical that a woman sit back and not stick up for herself? No, of course not. We are called, in the Spirit, and lovingly, to stand up for righteousness. Yet, it is NOT our place to be higher than men, demand benefits above men or authority, or to be outgoing enough where our hearts are worn on our sleeves.
That one is a big one. I know for me, I used to be notorious for wearing my heart on my sleeve. But truly, it's so unattractive. A godly woman doesn't need everyone to know her deepest darkest thoughts, secrets, and faults. It says in 1 Peter 3:4, that what is precious in God's sight is a gentle and QUIET spirit. When we look at the Proverbs 31 woman, we see that the only time she opened her mouth was with WISDOM and KINDNESS (Proverbs 31:26). She was a woman who had excellent things poured upon her lips, she was careful with what she said, and she didn't speak up a whole lot. Throughout the entire chapter of Proverbs 31 we see that the virtuous woman mainly worked and tended to the house. She gained strength, and she only opened her mouth a few times, but when she did, she spoke beautiful things. I can't picture the virtuous woman opening her mouth with hateful words, her hearts lustful desires, her brazen attitude, or contentious words. The entire book of Proverbs talks about the contentious woman. It says in Proverbs 27:15-16, "A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; Whoever restrains her retrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand."
Angry, brazen, women who have awful attitudes...why would we want to be like that? It only causes strife, and our households won't be glad to have us around. I think it's a sweet and precious honor that God has given women the privilege of tending to the house. We get to set the mood for our families, we are the ones who take care of it, nurture it, and create a sweet atmosphere for those who live in it. It's never good to throw your emotions around any time you feel like it. Our emotions change on the drop of a dime. We're happy one moment, angry the next. We fight with someone, and then ten minutes later talk of how we're best friends with the person. I'll be the first to say women are very emotional, and kind of crazy! I won't lie! Yet, how do we handle those situations? Are we making sure that our outward circumstances don't change our hearts? Our countenance? Our foundation? It's true...our outward circumstances have the power to change our entire moods. Something as simple as a bad hair day can cause us to be annoyed and take it out on everyone around us, but ladies, it is NOT wise, attractive, or godly to be wearing our emotions on our sleeves like that.
What happened to the beauty of mystery? This goes with relationships too. Don't tell every guy you have a crush on that you like them. Don't be the pursuer. Do not let yourself fall to the standards of the world in the way of men. Be gentle and quiet in heart and spirit. Seek out the Lord, and let the Lord lead the right man to you, who will PURSUE YOU, who will pray and be led to YOU. It isn't old fashioned, or ridiculous, it's biblical! It's never a beautiful thing when you let the entire world know every intricate detail about your life. It is GOOD for women to profess a gentle and quiet spirit.
The other lie we're told is to just go for it. Don't wait around, grab what you want, take what is rightfully yours! That's just another dangerous way of getting hurt, and going against what God has clearly spoken when it comes to authority. I love the Psalms. Over and over again do I read the term, 'Wait on the Lord!'
The Lord taught me, and is teaching me a lot lately, what it means to simply wait on Him. It's so precious. No greater comfort, peace, joy, contentment and satisfaction do I find than sitting at His feet and simply waiting there. It's the quiet, still, beautiful place. When we are anxious, needy, it's so important that we bring our cares before God and just wait on Him. It says in Proverbs 28:20, "A faithful man will abound with blessings, but he who hastens to be rich will not go unpunished."
It's clear that being hasty to go after what you want isn't necessarily a good thing. The world will tell you to be bold and go for the things you desire, but it isn't wise.
Being secretive in a godly way is great gain. It's good to intercede with things that are on your heart, but it's dangerous to go around telling everyone about what you're feeling inside. The only place you can go to know that your prayers and hearts desires are safe and sound, is to the Lord. He is the One who will hear you, keep your requests quiet and safe, and He'll never go telling other people. You may have the best friends who keep secrets, but truthfully, go to God first..always. Let your requests be made known to HIM, then His peace will comfort your hearts.
Often times I think we go to other people with our worries, concerns, and needful advice because we think they can help us solve our issues. But, why don't we just simply go to God? It is through God we have our prayers heard, answered, and kept safe. It is through God that we can accomplish the impossible. It is only through God that we can trust Him with everything we have. Man will fail you. They will let you down and often times betray your trust. So, why not just go to God? Now, I think it's wise that we seek godly counsel from older, wiser godly women. Discipleship groups and Bible studies are wonderful, and we should get involved! But, when we're hanging around with our girlfriends, what are we spilling? Gossip kills, and truthfully it isn't a beautiful quality trait to be attaining.
I know girls are famous for gossip, and I know for me the Lord has continually been showing me that speaking ill of a person is super sinful. My thing is this: If you can't walk up to the person and tell them to their face what you're thinking, then you shouldn't be thinking it at all, let alone SAYING it! Gossip has the possibility of destroying families, relationships, and reputations. Let's not fall victim to that.
Ladies, I just want to encourage you. I'm not smart, wise, or know much of anything...and I'm sorry if none of this made sense to you. But, my heart is for a spirit of quietness and gentleness. I am a firm believer that what makes a woman beautiful is her quiet spirit.
I actually heard it from a few guys this semester that the one HUGE turn off in a girl is her brazen attitude. That means, her desire to be seen, heard, noticed, and popular. A few guys at school told me that they couldn't believe what they saw this semester. One guy told me, "I've never seen it like this before...some of these girls are alllllllll over the guys."
Really, ladies? It saddens me. Yet, I'm to blame, too! I fall short of this. It isn't YOU, or HER, or the other person, it's all of us and we need to be sure that our conduct is modest and upright.
I guess it all goes back to humility too. But it remains, a woman of a gentle and quiet spirit is very precious in God's sight. So, let's pray for kindness, gentleness, quietness, and self-control. I love what I read in Galatians 6:22-23 tonight, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law."
Let's pray that the Lord would continue to teach us of these fruits in our own lives. That we would daily, and continually yearn to walk in the Spirit, and not go near any of the lusts of the flesh.
"...to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:5
"Be still and know that I am GOD; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" Psalm 46:10
"He has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted the lowly." Luke 1:52
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