dad.

The other day I came across the song, Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman and I just couldn't help but to cry. Not only over the fact that he loves his daughter so much..but he wrote that song just months before she was killed in a freak car accident. I can't imagine the pain a father must go through without his little girl. Nor, can I imagine the pain a little girl must go through without her daddy around.

Satan tries to discourage me and frighten me over thoughts of my dad. My dad has had three heart attacks in the span of my life, and he has diabetes too. He's pretty healthy but has had to go in for stents in his heart a few times. Overall, the doctors say he's doing quite well. I have full trust that God has my dad in the palm of His hand. He shepherds a flock of people at our home church, and I know God wants to continue to do a work. But still, Satan tries to freak me out with thoughts of, "Your dad won't be around for long. He's going to pass away soon. It could be tomorrow. Then what will you have?" Those thoughts tend to cripple me, you know.

You see, my dad and I have a very precious bond. I'm the only girl in the family, one of three kids, the other two boys. So, I am a total daddy's girl! Thoughts like those, they tend to cripple me. One day I really thought about that: what will I do when he's gone? Seriously. I could barely breathe, and the only thing I can come to think is that when he's gone, a huge piece of my heart is gone.

What about marriage? I thought about that too. One of the hardest things I'll have to do when I get married is let my husband be the man now, who spiritually leads me...not my dad anymore. Sure, he still will, but he won't be first anymore. Scary..yet I know it'll be a blessing. There was a woman in our church who was just like me, such a daddy's girl. Her and her dad did everything together. He would come over and watch his granddaughter when her and her husband went out, came to church every week with them, and he was all she had left. It was a huge shock when 3 days before Christmas he went home to be with the Lord. Freak heart attack. He was super healthy too. He exercised daily, ate healthy, and was perfectly fine according to doctors. Heart attacks just ran in the family. I remember just seeing her, hearing her, seeing how she was walking around without her precious daddy. She was crippled. She was completely broken.

Why am I sharing all this sad news? You're probably thinking, "Wow thanks. I'll have these fears too!" But it's an encouragement to me. The thing that encourages me is that I not only have a wonderful dad here on earth, but I have an amazing Dad in heaven. God is the One who I can always run to. Regardless. When my dad goes home to be with Him, man...what a neat thing that will be (aside from sad). He'll finally be with JESUS! No more pain, nor sorrow. Incredible.

I can't help but to think about those girls who grow up with no dad. Or, those girls who grow up with an abusive father, an alcoholic for a father, or, unfortunately, those who have been sexually abused by their father. Who do they turn to? Such devastating circumstances. I have heard time and time again, about women who come to terms with who their earthly dad is, and get to know their Heavenly Dad in the process. So amazing. Forgiveness, brokenness, surrender, and FREEDOM is now their life. No more chains, no more bondage, no more hatred towards a man who was supposed to be the spiritual leader, Godly influence, and righteous man.

It goes for guys too. Some guys grow up having no male figure to look up to, yet again, they have Jesus. I'm not saying that having Jesus and not an earthly dad is easy, or amazing. Everyone longs to have parents who love them, encourage them, and support them. I was very blessed growing up to have them. Yet, I also need to trust them in the hands of God. And I can't help but to think of all those people around the world who have no father. It breaks my heart.

I remember journaling on Fathers Day and thanking God for who He gave me as a dad. I was super convicted. "What about those in this world who have no earthly dad? Who are broken over the fact that their dad is not the man he should have been? Pray for them. They're broken tonight." 

It was clear as day. All of a sudden I was so broken over those who I knew and didn't know, who struggled with no dad in their lives. Completely broken. It's easy to see what you have and then never care about what others don't have around you. Yet, we are called to pray for those around us who are broken and hurting. The scriptures say, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."~Romans 12:15

It is clear that we are to come alongside our brothers and sisters and pray continually for them, whatever they're going through.

I have a dear friend who not only lost both parents early in life, but also lost her husband to a nasty divorce. What a woman of God she is, though. Regardless of her circumstances she chooses to stand firm on the Word, prayer, and on what God has promised her. She is such an encouragement to me! To see her earthly dad pass away, and her husband leave her in an awful state. Yet she chooses her heavenly Daddy, the One who knows her better than anyone in this world can know her. No, again I'm not saying that it is easy....but even I must remember that I cling to the cross, to Jesus..not to my earthly dad all the time.

I must trust him in the hands of God, and I also must cling to God first and foremost. I love Psalm 27:10 where it says, "When my father and mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me." Such precious words to me. I know that when the Lord decides to take my earthly father home, he will be in the most blessed place ever. In fact, man, I'll be a little jealous. Have you ever stopped to imagine what it'll be like when a loved one is finally face to face with Jesus?! Wow, I can't fathom it. Pure worship 24/7...what a blessing!!!!

Not to make light of death. Yet at the same time, I must trust that God has it all under control.

Truth is, we have the BEST heavenly Daddy anyone could ever ask for. Far better than anything we deal with in this world. Girls, what are you carrying today? I am broken over some ladies who struggle with no father figure, or who have a tainted view of what a father figure looks like. It's disheartening. Yet, just know, be encouraged that you have JESUS. Run to Him. Cling to Him. Fall on your face before Him. Allow Him to take your brokenness, and fix all the pieces. HE is worthy, and so able!

Praying earnestly for all those who struggle with this....I have nothing to complain about, and nothing to compare my situation to. Yet I know, through all, and in all, God is sovereign. He is worthy of all things. So, we must trust Him in all things. Easier said than done, yea. But, who are you clinging to?

Cling to the cross. You are not alone. Jesus is always with you.

"But You have seen, for You observe trouble and grief, to repay it by Your hand. The helpless commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless." ~ Psalm 10:14