mean girls.

Ok, ladies, let's get serious...everyone's seen the movie. In fact, when I first saw the movie, I didn't only die of laughter but I was amazed at how accurate it was to our society! I mean seriously. The title explains it all. What is it with girls, anyway? Why are girls so mean? Catty? Jealous? I must say, that women are usually in danger zones when it comes to these areas. Our relationships can become so ruined when we allow Satan to use his tactics to try and separate us. He is always trying to work in our ministries, our families, our friendship circles. It's inevitable. But how do you act towards others? It's a question that often times stings at the heart, I know.

But it's a question we ladies in the Lord need to continually ask ourselves. How are we treating our sisters in Christ? It's human nature that we become jealous, angry, bitter, annoyed, hormonal..yes yes yes I understand. But our emotions should never get in the way of our actions. The scriptures are very clear that our hearts are the most deceitful and desperately wicked, so who can understand them? (Jeremiah 17:9) The world will constantly tell us, "Follow your heart...you won't go wrong." No, on the contrary...don't follow your heart, but lead your heart to God, to godliness, and in holiness. Your heart and mind will tell you things you should not be doing. It's normal as humans. Yet, that is why we are called to put on the whole armor of God daily. We are called to withstand the wiles of the devil.

It's hard, especially as women. Like I've talked about before, we compare each other, we always want something we don't have, and most of the time we are super unhappy with who we are. Why? Because Satan is the ruler of this world. This world is telling you these things. This world influences us to act certain ways, be certain people, and treat others in certain ways. What does God say?

Lately I've been super convicted with my attitude. I have been convicted with my heart, and the sin in it. I have to remember that I am not immune to sin. Nor, am I vaccinated from it. I must put it to death every single day. I must surrender and realize that I am useless and unworthy apart from God's grace. I was praying continually about these things and the Lord continued to remind me of Proverbs 31, and 1 Peter 3:3. Yes, I go over these passages of scripture a lot. But I guess it's because I truly have a burden on my heart for the ladies of this generation...me included.

I have such a heart to see women all over the world to walk in holiness, purity, and cleanliness. I loved the scripture God gave me tonight in my devotionals from 2 Corinthians 7:1, "Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of GOD." 

There it is, again. The calling to put off the flesh, mortify the sin, and walk in holiness to God. I just know, I firmly believe that as women in the Lord we are called to walk worthy of our calling, profess godliness, and live a lifestyle of holiness.

So, how do we act in our daily routines? I understand that we may not get along with everyone we come in contact with, I get it. Yet, is the conflict because of you? Or is the conflict because you have done everything in your power to be a godly woman, yet the other party isn't treating you right? If that's the case, pray the Lord would work in their hearts. But the real problem is when we are the ones who are the issue. I know I've been the issue millions of times. Have I realized it everytime? Of course not. I have pride. I struggle. Yet, one thing I am so grateful for: God has given me a heart for the broken.

I was cleaning out my closet yesterday in preparation for packing for college this semester. I was going through my jewelry and I came across this old, rusted, music note necklace and I remember where it came from. Just looking at it, and holding it made me cry out of the faithfulness that God showed me. My junior year of high school I was very involved in choir class. I loved concerts, musicals, and hanging out with my choir friends...yeah, guess you could say I was a nerd. There was a guy in my class who was only a few years younger than me, but it never failed...he was always picked on. The guys in choir class couldn't stand him, the girls stayed away from him, and regardless of what was going on around him, he always got booted. If you've ever seen Winnie the Pooh you know who Eyore is. Well, this guy was his twin. It always rained on him. Poor thing. I remember thinking all the time, "Why do people pick on him? He's harmless. And quiet. He never bothers a soul." And that was true. He never once bothered anyone. If anything, he just wanted to be liked, and he wanted friends...who wouldn't in high school? One day a guy friend of mine was picking on him hardcore. In front of everyone. My heart broke. It was as if I was watching a murder scene right in front of me, only his heart was getting the beating. I remember my response, I just couldn't help it. I told off my friend, told him how much of a jerk he was, and how much of a loser HE was compared to this other guy. I don't exactly remember all that I said...but something to that extent. Three days later at our next choir concert his parents came up to me with tears in their eyes. They handed me this box and inside was the music note necklace. They thanked me so much for being so kind, and sweet to their son. They were floored. But even more, I was crying, in awe, and thankful that God gave me a heart for people and a love for people.

I have no idea what that guy is up to now days, but I pray for him continually. That's always how I've been, by God's grace. I have always been the girl who shuts down the bully for someone. I've always taken the bullet for others...my heart just loves people, and yearns to see people loved in return. God has just been so gracious to me in that area. I think also, it's because my brother was constantly picked on growing up. My heart broke with him before I was even able to understand bullying. So, I have never been a 'mean girl' but I will say that I have been jealous, envious, bitter, angry, unforgiving, and sassy with my girlfriends...and that in itself is a mean girl.

It doesn't have to be that you're outwardly mean to girls, but what's in your heart? What do you want for your sisters in Christ? What is your ultimate purpose for praying for them? Would you rather want your sisters to suffer? Or to life them up? Regardless of what they have said about you, or done to you.

It's hard. As girls, even in the Lord, we stumble under the category of catty girls. We gossip. We spread rumors. We act in ways we shouldn't. We really need to understand what it means to walk a lifestyle of godliness and holiness wholeheartedly. I'm no expert...in fact, I know nothing! Yet, I do know, that our hearts must be purified daily..willing and yearning to walk the lifestyle set before us. I love Ephesians 4 when it talks about walking worthy of the calling with which we are called. It's a beautiful reminder that as women in the Lord, we are called to profess holiness! We are to live it! There is seriously nothing better...it is a PRIVILEGE that we get to be called daughters of the King, and that He yearns we be holy! Wow. Who wouldn't want that?

Jealousy, anger, bitterness, grudges, unforgiveness, envy, slander, gossip...these things ought not to be so. Our tongues, hearts, intents, actions, thoughts, motives...all these things need to be holy and acceptable before God.

I've been convicted lately of not seeking the Lord to purify my heart in these areas too. I think the hardest thing is loving those around us who are mean to us. It's hard when we are super kind and nice, and other people take advantage. Where's the fine line between nice and standing up for yourself? This, I am learning too. There IS a fine line. I believe as women in Christ, we are called to be kind and gentle...yet when someone is taking advantage of you, or hurting your feelings...speak up! Not rudely, or in a mean/catty way..but tell them how you're feeling. If they mock you or make fun of you more, chances are they aren't good friends. Good, godly friends will respect you, and treat you the way they want to be treated. Friendship 101 right? Mmhmm..yet it's so hard. I know it.

I just love 1 Peter 3:3 where it says, "Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

I love the second half...we are called to be gentle and quiet in spirit! Some girls may hear that and think, 'What? That's seems demeaning.' But no! It is what we're called to do. Gentleness, kindness, and love. We must pour it out all the time, wholeheartedly, even to those who may not necessarily deserve it.

We must be sisters in Christ who can edify each other and build each other up. When there's tension, ill feelings, or unresolved conflict...there's division in the body of Christ. Praying that as school starts, and we continue in our walks as women of Godliness, that we pursue love, peace, kindness, gentleness and quietness. That we would pray and ask the Lord to give us hearts of flesh. Praying that we would daily continue to be kind and loving to our sisters in Christ. Pray for each other. We are all in it together, struggling with the same issues.

May we not continue to tear each other down, but build each other up.

"Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." ~ Proverbs 31:25-26